Just listen to sex chat
Just listen to sex chat
But talking to the adults in your life can seem difficult or intimidating — especially when it comes to certain subjects. Maybe you need to break bad news to a parent, like getting a speeding ticket or failing an exam. Even small talk about what's for dinner can keep your relationship strong and comfortable. If you feel your relationship with your parents is strained, try easing into conversations. Talk about how well your little sister is doing in math.
My thoughts about "what not to say" apply to both men and women, but some men thought it was going to take away something that the male role holds dear.
Many men thought I was doing a "hit job" on men and blaming men for every problem in a relationship.
Actually, I specifically indicated that neither men nor women are to blame -- but sometimes some men may have certain attitudes about communication and emotion that may get in the way.
Having made these observations, though, it's also important that when you are communicating to your partner -- and you want him or her to listen -- and respect you, then you should consider how you say what you say. But your partner might be wrapped up in something else at the moment -- the game, fixing dinner, trying to go to sleep, working on something, or just not in the right mood right now. Think about what is essential and try to focus on that.
Use your experience to tell you what is definitely not the right time -- for example, "big process discussions" are seldom helpful right before bed -- or the minute your partner walks in the door. One way of editing it down is to agree with your partner that there might be a reasonable period to spend on the topic -- for example, "Can we spend about 10 minutes talking about this?
For example: What if you think a parent may be unsupportive, harsh, or critical? " Driving in the car or going for a walk can be great opportunities to talk.
It can help to defuse things by beginning with a statement like, "Mom, I have something to tell you. " Approach your parent when he or she isn't busy with something else. If it's hard to find a good time, say, "I need to talk to you. " Difficult conversations benefit from good planning. Write down the most important ideas if you need to.It was interesting to me that a lot of the men who responded did express the very beliefs that I was targeting -- views that women are "too emotional," they just go on and on forever, they can't think rationally, and that they are largely a burden. The guidelines for being a good listener are not just for men.These misogynist beliefs must make it difficult to have an equal and meaningful relationship with mutual respect -- but, hopefully, some readers will think about things differently. These guidelines for listening and communication apply to both men and women, straight and gay, and for friendships as well.Others will not and will continue to defend their position with sarcasm, name calling and high-fiving each other. Good communication and good listening are also part of negotiating in business, as well.And, of course, rationality and problem-solving are also important.I'm not proud of what I've done, and you might be mad. As most of us know, talking and listening don't go smoothly every time. Will parents take you seriously, believe what you say, listen to and respect your opinions, and hear you out without interrupting? Some parents are easy to talk to, some are great listeners, and some are harder to approach. Since communication is a two-way street, the way you talk can influence how well a parent listens and understands you.